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I'm always very moved by songs, as this blog probably shows. Whenever I post about something important to me I usually post the lyrics of a song to go with it. I think the reason is that music truly does express things that I don't quite know how to. This post is from my heart, but I can't really explain very well how I feel. So of course there is a song that sparks these feelings and describes them better than I ever could.
The song is called "Mary's Lullaby." This one is most important to me this Christmas because it's from a mother's perspective. There are a few by that name, but this one in particular is one that brings me to tears when I listen to and think about the words. Mary was a very strong woman for so many reasons. I can only imagine what pregnancy must have been like atop a donkey or the incredible discomfort that must’ve come with giving birth in a stable. Personally both of those things were hard enough for me from the comfort of my own home and a nice clean hospital room. Even before that she endured the scorn of her community as she was judged for being an unmarried woman with child. The pain- physical, mental, and emotional- that must have accompanied each of these situations must’ve been almost more that she could bear. And yet she bore them. And now, through her we have a Savior who died for us.
But I never realized that even after all of that, some of the worst pain she felt may have been in the moments after he was born. Holding him, looking at him, loving him, amazed at how perfect he was. And knowing full well of his divinity and his reason for coming to earth.
At some point I believe my mom has told me something to the effect of that she wishes she could take away my pain when I'm sad. That's how I feel about Audrey and I'm sure that's how most mothers feel about their children. I think it's hard to imagine the heartache Mary felt knowing what her baby boy was destined for and knowing that she could not take away his pain. I imagine she knew all the reasons and had a clear understanding of the plan but....can you imagine how the thought of that felt as she held him that Christmas day?
I think I would've felt anger at the people who were going to make him suffer. I would probably go try to secretly do away with them years before they would hurt him. I would've felt anger at all mankind for every little sin that added to my son's pain and anguish. And I would've felt immense guilt knowing that I had added to it myself and probably would again in the future. Mary's faith......I just can't comprehend it. That is why this song and these thoughts bring me to revere her in such a meaningful new way.
The part where she says "tonight you are mine" is the part that gets me emotional. All that he would do, he would save every soul on earth, he belonged to God, he was here for everyone, but in those moments he was all hers.
The song is called "Mary's Lullaby." This one is most important to me this Christmas because it's from a mother's perspective. There are a few by that name, but this one in particular is one that brings me to tears when I listen to and think about the words. Mary was a very strong woman for so many reasons. I can only imagine what pregnancy must have been like atop a donkey or the incredible discomfort that must’ve come with giving birth in a stable. Personally both of those things were hard enough for me from the comfort of my own home and a nice clean hospital room. Even before that she endured the scorn of her community as she was judged for being an unmarried woman with child. The pain- physical, mental, and emotional- that must have accompanied each of these situations must’ve been almost more that she could bear. And yet she bore them. And now, through her we have a Savior who died for us.
But I never realized that even after all of that, some of the worst pain she felt may have been in the moments after he was born. Holding him, looking at him, loving him, amazed at how perfect he was. And knowing full well of his divinity and his reason for coming to earth.
At some point I believe my mom has told me something to the effect of that she wishes she could take away my pain when I'm sad. That's how I feel about Audrey and I'm sure that's how most mothers feel about their children. I think it's hard to imagine the heartache Mary felt knowing what her baby boy was destined for and knowing that she could not take away his pain. I imagine she knew all the reasons and had a clear understanding of the plan but....can you imagine how the thought of that felt as she held him that Christmas day?
The part where she says "tonight you are mine" is the part that gets me emotional. All that he would do, he would save every soul on earth, he belonged to God, he was here for everyone, but in those moments he was all hers.
All mine in your loveliness baby, all mine.
All mine in your holiness baby divine.
Sing on herald angels in chorus sublime;
Sing on and adore, for tonight you are mine.
All mine in your holiness baby divine.
Sing on herald angels in chorus sublime;
Sing on and adore, for tonight you are mine.
The wise men are coming to worship their King,
The shepherds are kneeling their homage to bring.
Out yonder the star over Judah will keep.
No harm will befall thee, then sleep baby sleep.
The shepherds are kneeling their homage to bring.
Out yonder the star over Judah will keep.
No harm will befall thee, then sleep baby sleep.
O let me enfold thee, my baby tonight,
While legions are singing in joyous delight.
A new star has risen to hail thee divine,
For you are a king, but tonight you are mine.
While legions are singing in joyous delight.
A new star has risen to hail thee divine,
For you are a king, but tonight you are mine.
Away spectered future of sorrow and plight,
Away to the years that must follow tonight.
The pangs of Gethsemane, let them be dim,
The red drops on Calvary, not Lord, for Him!
Away to the years that must follow tonight.
The pangs of Gethsemane, let them be dim,
The red drops on Calvary, not Lord, for Him!
O let me enfold thee, my baby tonight,
While legions are singing in joyous delight.
A new star has risen to hail thee divine,
For you are a king, but tonight you are mine.
While legions are singing in joyous delight.
A new star has risen to hail thee divine,
For you are a king, but tonight you are mine.
All mine in your loveliness baby, all mine.
All mine in your holiness baby divine.
Sing on herald angels in chorus sublime;
Sing on and adore, for tonight you are mine.
All mine in your holiness baby divine.
Sing on herald angels in chorus sublime;
Sing on and adore, for tonight you are mine.
I can barely get through this song when I sing it to Audrey. Because I know she is God's and I know that there is a plan for her life. She's going to do amazing things with her life and she's going to become her own person. But for now she is mine. She's my baby and I'm just so grateful that I get to have her. She belongs to me and to Andrew and to God. Someday maybe her heart will belong to a husband and to her own children, but for now I am so so so overcome with gratitude that she belongs to me.
And I am so so so grateful to Mary for giving up her son to be my Savior. Because she did that He made it so that Audrey and the other children we will have are ours forever.
And I am so so so grateful to Mary for giving up her son to be my Savior. Because she did that He made it so that Audrey and the other children we will have are ours forever.
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