Today I've been thinking about the future and about relaxation.  Last night Audrey and I went to an infant massage class at our local library and we both really enjoyed it.  I didn't think Audrey would go for it but she did so great.  I think mostly she loved having all the other babies around.  She was quite the friendly little girl, turning to one baby and smiling then turning to another and squealing.  She's been so happy lately.  I wanted us to try this class because I want to try and help Audrey relax a little more in life and learn to be calm sometimes.  We have goals for her to start being a little more independent and feel okay.  This is not easy for me because I've been dreading the day she will not need me anymore pretty much since she was born.  I don't like training her to not need me!  But I know it's for the best.  I know that I want to raise independent, self reliant kids who can deal with hard things.  And I guess that won't happen unless I let go a little sometimes.  She is such a big girl.

she sits up all by herself now!

When I think about our future I mostly think about our kids and where we'll live and things like that.  Here is my basic dream of how our life will turn out:

We will live in a moderate sized house a few hours away from my parents in Northern California, maybe Livermore or Sacramento area.  Our 5-6 kids will know both sets of their grandparents very well and they will know and love their Grandma and Grandpa Hanaike's house where I grew up and the nearby ocean and cliffs I used to run around on.  We will have big family get-togethers and Andrew's family will visit often and stay in our guest rooms at our house.  We will go camping every summer and will watch Disney movies all the time.  We'll try new recipes and get whatever we want at the grocery store for them (within reason).  Andrew will have a workshop room with all his tools and projects and I will have my own little craft room with all my scrapbooking, drawing, and painting supplies.  We'll go for walks everyday during the summer and will sit on our wrap-around front porch in the evenings.  Sometimes our kids will do homework out there during the school year.  For date nights Andrew and I will either go to plays and musicals or go for nice relaxing walks in some scenic area, just the two of us.  We will have a good sized backyard with a tree swing and a basketball hoop where Andrew and the kids will play when he's home from work.  He will be able to work from home often.  We will have beautiful artwork and family pictures all around our house and we will have space for ALL our books.  I will run a small daycare out of our home where we will do weekly themes during the summer.  We will have a kitchen with a ton of counter space and the kids and I will do seasonal arts and crafts with the other kids who come over for daycare.  We'll go to church every week and will participate in local and church activities during the week.  We'll go to the library every month and we will support each other's interests.  We will read scriptures and talk about Jesus often.  I'll hug and kiss my kids all the time whether they like it or not and our home will be full of love.  We will have good times and bad- with work, with our callings, with our kids- but home will be our safe haven from the world and our kids will always know they have a place there.

not too big, not too small

minus the christmas stuff…this i think is my perfect living room

Recently I went to a Relief Society activity (Relief Society is the women's organization in our church) and one of the presentations I went to was about how life doesn't usually go the way you plan.  So don't worry, I'm not fooling myself too much.  Remember that this is my dream, not necessarily my goal.  These are all things that I would love to have as part of my life, but I know that the only things I need will be my family and my faith.  So even if we are living in a little run down shack in Idaho or Wisconsin or some other random place I'll be plenty happy as long as I'm with my family, however big or small it will be, and as long as theres an LDS church building relatively close by.  Wherever we end up in the future, it's safe to say that we'll be happy now if we relax and leave it all to the Lord.  We know he'll take care of us and get us to where we need to be.  Audrey and I both have the goal to relax about things now.

Audrey and I go to the library pretty often (probably about twice a month) and we usually come home with some children's books and a very random assortment of movies.  There've been some great ones and there've been some weird ones- both the movies and the books.  Some are wonderful.  Here are some of the books we've recently been enjoying:

I LOVE these little books.  Pride and Prejudice is ours but the others are from the library.

I always love getting books that have amazing pictures…Audrey usually isn't too interested in these because they're long.  But I like them a lot.

The movies I get range from ones I've seen, ones I've been wanting to see, and ones that just look interesting.  This month's movies were Finian's Rainbow (been wanting to see), Once Upon A Mattress (seen), The Enchanted Cottage (caught my fancy), and Babies the documentary (been wanting to see).

Finian's Rainbow: I have this personal goal to see all Fred Astaire movies and all Audrey Hepburn movies, so that's why I checked out Finian's Rainbow.  And yes, it was pretty weird.  I liked some of the songs and some of the characters but I think there was way too much going on in the movie.  It was about a bunch of different things- a leprechaun, segregation, and mentholated tobacco- and honestly it all was just very hippie-ish.  But I do love me some Fred Astaire, so his character was pretty fun.  Overall though, not one I'd like to own any time soon.  But at least I can check it off my list!


Once Upon A Mattress:  This one I had already seen but it was fun to watch it with Andrew and Audrey.  It's the story of the Princess and the Pea with Carol Burnett, Tracy Ullman, and Zooey Deschannel.  It's so silly but so fun.  Again not one I need to own, but one I wouldn't mind checking out again every once in awhile.


The Enchanted Cottage:  This one was surprisingly amazing!  It's an old romantic one from 1945, kind of a Beauty and the Beast story except that the the two characters are both considered "ugly."  It's basically about how love is truly blind when it's real love.  It's also about how beauty really is in the eye of the beholder and that it's up to us to see the beauty in others- we do have the choice.  A great old movie that I would love to see again and possibly own!


Babies:  This documentary was really something.  I can't even describe how much I liked it.  There is no narration, almost no words at all, and you just are watching these babies grow up from birth to their first birthday.  There are four babies, each from a different culture- Africa, Mongolia, Japan, and San Francisco.  There is quite a bit of cultural nudity in it because in the African culture they observed the women don't wear tops.  But I think it's still a movie I would recommend.  The point of it is to show that "if you surround your baby with love, it doesn't matter what culture you're from or what child-rearing practices you follow."  Babies are just plain wonderful.



This movie helped me a lot with how I see myself as a mother.  It made me more confident in how I do things, made me realize that I don't have to freak out when I feel like I'm not doing everything perfect.  These babies were raised SO differently and each of them seemed happy and well-adjusted.  Sometimes I get bummed at myself for staying in pajamas all day and not looking very good, or for not getting dishes or laundry done.  But, I dunno, this movie made me see my role as a mother as more divine and more important than those things.  I love my baby and I'm loving watching her grow and learn.  She is the most beautiful person to me and I am doing okay as her mommy.

This is why I love books and movies :)

"The next time you’re tempted to groan, you might try to laugh instead. It will extend your life and make the lives of all those around you more enjoyable.” 

-Joseph B. Wirthlin

Thank you to my brother-in-law Lester for the beautiful family pictures!

And of course Audrey got a lot of time with her cousin Addy!

watching cinderella!

i guess this is how they both felt about being in their carseats when we would go out and about.

triplets with aunt lynette!

all moms and grandmas have the magic touch

luke and andrew played this balancing game that was pretty difficult.  it's kind of like jenga...but different.  anyways, after playing it several times and having it topple over they finally were able to get all the pieces balanced on there!  they were pretty proud so i took a picture to commemorate the achievement.

auntie julia with the two girls

yin and yang- opposites that complement each other

audrey leading a yoga class

sleeping through a houseful of people.  i love home.

we didn't end up getting a picture of mariah and ross with audrey in california, so here is one from the other day when they came over to visit.

checking in at the airport on the way home :(

As usual, one of the best parts about the trip was the weather and the beach.  I feel like the weather is always absolutely perfectly perfect in my hometown.  We went walking on the cliffs near my house with some of my siblings and one day we went to the beach with the whole family for a walk in the sand and along the seaside trail.  I wish I could just roll up that whole beach, put it in a jar and take it with me to Utah.  Then I'd unroll it right in front of our apartment and leave it up all year long.

walking from our house to the cliffs

i used to walk these cliffs as a kid and now i walk here with my daughter!  life is amazing.

oh this baby!

that lovely samantha

this cool kid (this is the view from the other side of the trail...so he's kind of facing the beach.  just to give a visual for those of you who haven't been there)

I'm having a hard time remembering what we did everyday while we were in California...it's all kind of a blur because we were so immediately comfortable there.  I think it was probably because of how long we had lived there during the summer...we've been away for about 4 months now, but right when we got there it was like we never left.  Anyways, the main part of it all was seeing family.  We were able to visit both Grandma Chandler and Grandma Hanaike which I always just LOVE.  I feel so lucky to have grown up near both of them my whole life.  I miss them when we are gone so it was so wonderful to have been able to see them.  We spent a lot of time watching the episodes of The Middle we haven't seen and having spontaneous dance parties in the living room.  We went to the Exploratorium in the city, went for walks on the beach, and were able to see almost all the Hanaike cousins at a movie night like we used to have when we were little.

audrey and grandpa at the exploratorium.  this is the slow-mo cam.  we have some hilarious videos of audrey punching the guys in the face in slow motion.  ill try to post them on here sometime if i can figure it out!

this camera showed where you were the coldest.  notice all out noses, chins, and cheeks were especially cold.

luke and audrey in the 'perspective room' or something like that

that big wide smile!  uncle luke is pretty fun.

i dont even know what this thing was but she was pretty mesmerized by it.

huge toothpick sculpture of downtown san francisco!

rolling through the bay

golden gate bridge

at&t park!

 Our week home also held a few visits with some old high school and elementary school friends of mine!  It was so cool to reconnect with Marissa (and Ryan), Cristina, and Erika, all on separate occasions.

We didn't get a picture with them this visit, but here is a goofy one of me with Marissa and Ryan in high school.  I love that these high school sweethearts got married and are now expecting a baby boy!!

My good friend from high school Cristina with Audrey! It was so awesome to see her in person after getting in touch again on facebook the last few months!

Please excuse the drool spots on my shoulder in this great picture with Erika, my friend from elementary school!  It's crazy to think that we've known each other for about 20 years now!  Are we really that old????

I've come to appreciate Facebook A LOT.  Without it, these visits probably wouldn't have happened because I wouldn't have gotten back in touch with these girls.  So grateful I did!  They were all able to meet Andrew and Audrey for the first time and it was so great to catch up and hear all about the things going on in their lives.  I just love home!