I've been blessed to have a job these past few months...but I have to say I'm very much looking forward to quitting. I've been grappling with the decision of when to quit. I've been so miserable working at Subway. I've finally been able to get past the lack of prestige and not wanting to admit where I work, because I do know I'm doing honest work. Most of my co-workers are pretty nice, but for some reason each shift still just runs me into the ground. It's hard to come home after a day like that to hours of homework and dishes to do. I know that this is something that will be a part of my life forever more, with kids added to the mix, and I should probably just get used to a never ending schedule. Right now though, I'm not used to it and usually when I come home I want to watch a movie or get on pinterest. Not do more work. Andrew and I talked about me quitting at the end of April, but then in my miserable-ness we talked about me quitting just as soon as financial aid comes.
Financial aid has now come...and I can't decide what to do. I keep going back and forth about it. Yes, I'm having a hard time working there and balancing school, but can't I just hang in there till April? I think I'll feel quite a sense of accomplishment if I do. But on the other side, is it worth me being miserable and stressed out for another 2 months? I just don't know. I never realized how hard it would be to weigh my priorities once I got married. When I was single, I would quit a job the moment I stopped having fun with it. Now, my life is no longer all about me. It's important for both of us to make money whereever and whenever we can. Andrew tries hard to do his website maintanence job around his crazy school schedule.
SO which is more important right now, my emotional well-being or doing a little bit more to secure our future? It really is a hard question for me. The answer may be obvious to some, but I just don't know what I feel is more important. I want to suck it up! I really do. I've felt pretty proud of myself for sticking things out in the past. I've take pride in the fact that I walk everywhere- work, school, grocery stores. At one point when I lived in Salt Lake I would leave my apartment 2 hours early to walk the few miles to get to class on time. And I always made it! That really made me feel good about myself. I've never been the best student, never been the brightest in math or science, never had very good study skills, never been the fastest at anything, but something I do have is endurance skills.
That's why this whole quitting decision is hard. Because enduring through hard things has been something I've felt like I was good at. So the thought of quitting earlier than planned makes me feel like I'm taking a step down from these endurance skills I've worked so hard to develop in myself. Why does this one thing seem too hard?
One of the things I appreciate most about my parents is that phrase about doing 'your best'. They always encouraged me to do my very best and then be content with the result- because they would be proud of me no matter if my best was an A or a C+. So I guess now what I'm trying to determine is, have I done my best here? If I quit will I be disappointed in myself or will I feel immediate relief and emotional stability return to my life? I know being I'm dramatic about all of this. I'm kind of determined to stay till April. I just wonder if by that time I'll be happy with my accomplishment, or upset because my grades and emotions suffered as a result.
Any thoughts or advice out there?
(By the way, Andrew usually does most of the housework these days. I don't want anybody to think he leaves it all to me. As I type this he's making dinner :))
Financial aid has now come...and I can't decide what to do. I keep going back and forth about it. Yes, I'm having a hard time working there and balancing school, but can't I just hang in there till April? I think I'll feel quite a sense of accomplishment if I do. But on the other side, is it worth me being miserable and stressed out for another 2 months? I just don't know. I never realized how hard it would be to weigh my priorities once I got married. When I was single, I would quit a job the moment I stopped having fun with it. Now, my life is no longer all about me. It's important for both of us to make money whereever and whenever we can. Andrew tries hard to do his website maintanence job around his crazy school schedule.
SO which is more important right now, my emotional well-being or doing a little bit more to secure our future? It really is a hard question for me. The answer may be obvious to some, but I just don't know what I feel is more important. I want to suck it up! I really do. I've felt pretty proud of myself for sticking things out in the past. I've take pride in the fact that I walk everywhere- work, school, grocery stores. At one point when I lived in Salt Lake I would leave my apartment 2 hours early to walk the few miles to get to class on time. And I always made it! That really made me feel good about myself. I've never been the best student, never been the brightest in math or science, never had very good study skills, never been the fastest at anything, but something I do have is endurance skills.
That's why this whole quitting decision is hard. Because enduring through hard things has been something I've felt like I was good at. So the thought of quitting earlier than planned makes me feel like I'm taking a step down from these endurance skills I've worked so hard to develop in myself. Why does this one thing seem too hard?
One of the things I appreciate most about my parents is that phrase about doing 'your best'. They always encouraged me to do my very best and then be content with the result- because they would be proud of me no matter if my best was an A or a C+. So I guess now what I'm trying to determine is, have I done my best here? If I quit will I be disappointed in myself or will I feel immediate relief and emotional stability return to my life? I know being I'm dramatic about all of this. I'm kind of determined to stay till April. I just wonder if by that time I'll be happy with my accomplishment, or upset because my grades and emotions suffered as a result.
Any thoughts or advice out there?
(By the way, Andrew usually does most of the housework these days. I don't want anybody to think he leaves it all to me. As I type this he's making dinner :))
