Thursday, October 17, 2013

The things of my heart


I’ve gone through many ups and downs with this motherhood thing and I’ve learned a lot.  One of the things I’ve learned is that I want my kids to know how I’ve been able to get through these, and many other, hard times.  I want them to know the things of my heart.  Anyone who knows me hopefully knows that I’m a very religious Mormon and that I happily live that lifestyle.  We believe in God, that he is our Heavenly Father and that he sent his son to be our Savior.  We believe in and love Jesus Christ who suffered and died for our sins.  We believe in God’s power to bless us and we believe that there is a plan for each person here on earth.  And we believe that we can live with Heavenly Father again someday and be with our families for eternity.  There are many other things we believe in the Mormon, or more officially LDS, church but these beliefs specifically are some of the things that get me through hard times. 

I’ve had personal experiences with trials as well as with happiness.  I believe that Heavenly Father is orchestrating my life to be the happiest it can be and I believe that trials are a part of this.  Without them, the happy times wouldn’t be as precious to me, and my relationships with the people I love wouldn’t be as deep and profound.  Andrew and I become so much closer with every trial we go through together.  I love Audrey more everyday as I struggle to care for her.

Most importantly, my relationship with Jesus Christ wouldn’t be as deep and profound.  The trials I’ve faced have caused me to turn to him, to rely on and believe deeply in his love for me.  In church I’ve been taught about his Atonement and how much love it required him to have.  He suffered the sins of the world, he felt all the anguish, fear, sadness, guilt, embarrassment, hopelessness, and abandonment that everyone has ever felt.  After doing that he sacrificed his life by dying on the cross.  He fulfilled the requirements of both justice and mercy.  Justice because our sins had to be paid for somehow.  And mercy because he did it so we wouldn’t have to pay the full price.  There is no love greater than that.


Perhaps the most profound part of all of this to me is how personal his sacrifice was to everyone on earth.  I’ve been taught in church that if I was the only person in the world he still would’ve done it, he still would’ve suffered the Atonement.  He would have died just for me.  Knowing that makes me feel such emotion and such a personal relationship with him.  With all the mistakes I make and all the ways I come up short, it’s amazing to me that I could ever be so loved.  And amazing that he would've done it for any one of us because he loves us all that much.

The way that this knowledge gets me through my hard times is because I know that there is someone who truly knows everything I feel.  I can try to describe it to someone else.  Someone else can even be going through the very same thing I am.  But no one can ever truly know how each person feels.  No one but him.  And I know that he can make it better if I believe in and trust him.  
I believe that everything will always work out, but not just by coincidence.  I believe that God helps me fix my mistakes if I’m willing to and that he helps me get out of hard situations.  Or if I must go all the way through them I believe he holds my hand as I struggle and that in the end it’ll be for my good.  He sends a comforter, his Spirit to help me through and it softens every blow life can throw at me.  And I believe that I come out of each struggle stronger and a better person than before.
It’s my testimony, to whoever is reading this right now, that Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father love you with an infinite love and they want to bless you.  I want my friends and family to know that I know this.  And I especially want my Audrey to know that.  I want her to always know how much she is worth to us and to Heavenly Father and Jesus.  I want her to know that she is a daughter of God and that he loves her.  I want her to know that even though she can’t see him, he is always there.  I want her to know that she can always talk to him, tell him her desires, her happy times, her struggles, her fears, and all her deepest feelings.  

It's crazy to think that anyone could love this girl more than I do.  But I know that he does.  She is his daughter and he takes care of our little family.

I want my friends and family who are not a part of the church to know these things.  Please don’t hesitate to ask me anything about Mormonism or about this testimony I’ve shared.  If you’d like to know more yourself here are some sites that accurately explain what Mormons believe:


There are other sites and media out there that spin the truth about Mormonism.  Just know that after being Mormon my whole life I can promise you that these are the sites that tell the truth about our beliefs and lifestyle.

This testimony is a piece of my heart, an enormous part of who I am and why.  I'm grateful for everything the Lord has blessed me with.  Thanks for reading :)




These are both Easter videos called Mormon Messages, but they are true any time of the year.  They help to express the things I've just shared.

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