My Baby, My Baby!

(My cousin Rocio used to jump up at the sound of one of her kids crying and say, "Mybabymybabymy baby!" as she ran out of the room.  Ever since then that's the phrase that comes to my mind when I think about my kids…my baby, my baby!  And now another one of my babies is coming!)

We are excited to announce that our second baby will be making his or her debut this March!!!  Lets be real, though…we might as well say HER debut.  With the track record on both the Dobbins and Hanaike sides we are pretty sure it's going to be a girl.  We'll find out the gender early November, I think.  Whichever it is though, we couldn't be happier!  

This pregnancy has been much like the first except that my ability to combat the tiredness is significantly less than it was with Audrey.  Almost nonexistent.  Because now I have another little person to take care of and I can't just focus on myself and take a nap whenever it suits me.  There have been many days where I've just given up on getting anything done and just had to focus on trying to keep she and I (and new baby) fed.  

I've written on here about how scared I've been for the next pregnancy because of my Menieres issues. It was at it's worst last pregnancy, in fact that's when I was diagnosed because it was so obviously bad and so obviously not just pregnancy related.  It has been on and off since then and now with this pregnancy I'm just bracing myself for the third trimester- which was when I had the most issues last time.  As hard as it was to deal with, there were a lot of things I had to be grateful for that made things much easier than I think this one will be:

1. We were living with my family for the summer so I had almost constant access to help throughout every single day when I would have an episode.  
2. Andrew was working from home everyday.  
3. I wasn't working, I didn't have a child to take care of, and I didn't have a household to run on my own- I could focus completely on my own needs.  

last year in California awaiting Audrey's arrival

a rousing game of pregnant twister in my honor last year

a beach ball at the beach

This time around we are here in Provo on our own, with laundry and dishes to do everyday, a baby to entertain and take care of, Andrew gone at school and work all day, callings at church to take care of, and the constant fear of an episode creeping up and halting everything going on in our life.  Things are very different than last time.  And it's only a year later.

As hard as everything seems at times we have gotten to a really good point.  When we first found out about this baby in July we were surprised and ecstatic, but the very next day of morning sickness I found that I was also petrified.  Of pregnancy and of having a newborn and a one and a half year old to take care of while Andrew still needs to work on school.  I still feel those fears and anxieties but I've seen a lot of ways Heavenly Father is taking care of me right now:

1. I haven't had an episode so far- and we're already in the second trimester!  I have had some increased dizziness, ear ringing, and balance issues.  But overall it's not been so bad.
2. I've only thrown up three times!!!  Sorry if that's tmi, but this is a BIG deal and possibly the most exciting thing about this pregnancy so far.  I still feel sick quite often with nausea and a lot of headaches, but by this time last pregnancy I'd probably thrown up about 45 times.  So.  Yeah.  I'm on top of the world here.
3. NEIGHBORS.  Heavenly Father has blessed us with the best neighbors anyone could ever have.  I can't say enough about how grateful I am to be living in our little complex.  Everyone is friendly and caring, always working together, helping each other out, waving at each other from windows, interested in what's going on in each other's lives (but not in a creepy way).  I've never felt so comfortable to just go knock on a door and ask for help.  So, even though I can't have my mom here with me when I am having a hard time, emotionally or physically, I have friends only footsteps away that I can call on for anything.  To talk, to have play dates, to watch Audrey, to help with maintenance issues, etc.  When I'm here alone during the day it means so much to me to feel that kind of safety and comfort.  It is a blessing straight from heaven, something He knew I would need.

My goal now is to try not to worry.  To notice these blessings more often and try not to despair on the bad bad days.  I'm enjoying my time with Audrey and I'm trying to make her cuddle with me as often as I can because pretty soon she will not be the only recipient of all my attention during the day.  She is more cuddly than she used to be and I think that is a little blessing too.  She is a comfort to me.  I'm nervous to have two kids so close in age to take care of (another way my neighbors have come in handy- I've been needing a lot of pep talks from the two girls here who have two kids.  One has twin boys and the other has two girls 16 months apart).  But I've found that whenever I look at newborn pictures of Audrey most of those fears melt away for a little bit and I just get so happy to have another one.  I get tearful and excited and a complete feeling of peace and love for both my babies.

Audrey around 3 months

We can't wait for you sweet little one.  We love you already, all three of us.