Emma

(PS: this is going to be a long post)

I think my blog has turned into a place where I want to collect things that I like that will make me feel good someday when I go back and look at them.  Paintings, songs, videos, thoughts, stories, pictures, and of course memories.
Lately I've had the chance to learn more about the lives of some amazing women that I've been hearing about my whole life.  The first one is Emma Smith.  We watched the Emma movie one Sunday recently and it was really eye-opening and inspiring to me.

I feel like I got to know the real Emma, who she was, the things she loved, and all that she went through.  It was a major testimony builder for me.  I cried a lot- which should be no surprise to anyone because I get very emotional about movies.  The movie ends soon after her husband Joseph dies and I found myself wondering more about her story.  I knew vague things about her life with the RLDS church after Joseph died, but knowing the Emma from earlier years in this new way made me want to know just as well in her later years.  I looked more information up on the internet.  I automatically knew I had to be careful what sources to trust, but the second article that popped up gave me what I was looking for and more.  I wanted to post some excerpts of it here for my future self and anyone else who is interested in knowing kind of the rest of Emma's story.  The article was from the 1992 Ensign magazine and was written by Emma's great great granddaughter Gracia Jones.

Ever since the Prophet Joseph died as a martyr in Carthage, Illinois, some Latter-day Saints have felt disappointment that Joseph’s wife Emma did not go with the Church in the westward exodus of the Saints in 1846–47.

I was baptized 17 March 1956. After my conversion, whenever members of the Church learned of my relationship to the Prophet, they showed me unusual kindness because of the reverence they held for him.

However, I discovered there was a different attitude about Emma. One day, when I was in a Relief Society room, I happened to notice a picture of a dark-haired woman. Curious, I moved closer. On the nameplate I read the inscription: “Emma Hale Smith—Elect Lady—First President of the Relief Society.” Fascinated to see at last a picture of my great-great-grandmother, I thought, How beautiful she is! Feelings of love for her filled me. But my thoughts were interrupted when someone behind me said, “My husband says they ought to take that woman’s picture off the wall of the church.” Stunned by the tone as much as by the words, I was troubled and wondered what prompted this judgment of Emma.

Later, while reading the book History of the Prophet Joseph Smith by His Mother, I found Lucy Mack Smith’s tribute to Emma: “I have never seen a woman in my life, who would endure every species of fatigue and hardship, from month to month, and from year to year, with that unflinching courage, zeal, and patience, which she has ever done; for I know that which she has had to endure—she has been tossed upon the ocean of uncertainty—she has breasted the storms of persecution, and buffeted the rage of men and devils, which would have borne down almost any other woman.” ¹

I was struck forcibly by the contrast between the loving words of one who knew her and the judgment of one who did not.
...

With such glowing testimony of her commitment to the Prophet Joseph and the restored gospel, why did Emma not take her children and go west with the Church? Generations have debated the issue, considering many of her comments as reported by others. Some have assumed that Emma lost her faith, others have doubted her integrity. These feelings fostered the unkind remark I had heard years ago while I was viewing Emma’s picture.

It is documented that Emma quarreled with some Church leaders over various aspects of settling Joseph’s estate and that hurt feelings resulted which were not resolved at the time. ¹⁹ Yet through prayerful examination of materials, and through refraining from judging the people involved, I have come to peacefully understand that in the threatening atmosphere of persecution that prevailed at the time, some of Emma’s hesitation resulted because she feared for the lives of her children. She did not know whom to trust and there was no time and no peace for the natural healing of her grief to occur. In February 1846, when mob violence continually threatened Church members in Illinois and state officials refused protection, the Apostles, under the direction of Brigham Young, led the Saints into a winter in the wilderness to prepare for the long journey west. To Emma, it apparently was a horrifying idea to take her orphaned children again across the frozen Mississippi without Joseph. When asked many years later why she didn’t go west, she simply replied, “I had a home here, I didn’t know what lay out there.” ²⁰

Her decision to remain in Nauvoo had far-reaching effects upon her descendants. Joseph III, who was eleven when his father was killed, became president of the Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (the RLDS church) in 1860. He died in 1914. Alexander became a longtime missionary, a counselor in the first presidency, and finally presiding patriarch in the RLDS church. He died in 1909. Frederick, never having been baptized, preceded his mother in death by seventeen years, dying in 1862. Two years before Emma’s death, her youngest son, David, in whom Emma had found solace in her widowhood, was diagnosed as having “brain fever” and was committed to Illinois State Asylum. Emma referred to David’s condition as a “living trouble.” ²¹ David died in 1904. Her surviving adopted daughter, Julia Murdock Middleton, joined the Catholic church. She died of cancer at the age of forty-nine, a little more than a year after Emma died. ²² Today, Emma’s descendants number more than two thousand, with about seven hundred living. They are scattered throughout the world, embracing many diverse religions and ideologies. Most are as uninformed regarding Emma’s testimony and the restored gospel of Jesus Christ as I was.

A granddaughter, Emma Belle Smith Kennedy, remembers Emma: “Her eyes were brown and sad. She would smile with her lips but to me, as small as I was, I never saw the brown eyes smile. I asked my mother one day, why don’t Grandma laugh with her eyes like you do and my mother said because she has a deep sorrow in her heart.” ²³

A woman who served as a maid in Emma’s home during Emma’s later years related the fact that each evening after the chores were done, Emma would climb the stairs to her room, sit in her low rocker, and gaze out the window at the western sunset over the Mississippi River. No one dared approach to offer comfort, because they did not know how to touch the depth of sorrow evidenced by the tears that coursed down her cheeks. ²⁴

We can ask, “Why did she cry?” Was it the awful loss of her beloved Joseph? Was it the memory of her babies laid in graves in Pennsylvania, Ohio, and Illinois? Was it the tragedy of seeing her precious youngest son hopelessly ill? Was it regret for past mistakes? Was it sorrow for disappointments lived through? Was it haunting uncertainties regarding the course she had taken, as well as thoughts about what might have been had tragedy and persecution not dogged her life? Having lived a long life, as the Lord had promised in her patriarchal blessing, and now seemingly humbled and refined, Emma must have pondered questions about the hereafter. Her son Alexander later reported that a few days before her death, Emma had a vision that disclosed her acceptance by the Lord. ²⁵

Emma lived almost thirty-five years after the martyrdom of her Prophet-husband. She died 30 April 1879 in her seventy-fifth year. In her last years she was greatly loved, and in the last hours of her life she was attended by her family: Louis Bidamon, Julia, Joseph III, ²⁶ and Alexander. According to Alexander, Emma seemed to sink away, but then she raised up and stretched out her hand, calling, “Joseph! Joseph!  I'm coming!” Falling back on Alexander’s arm, she clasped her hands on her bosom, and her spirit was gone. Both Alexander and Joseph thought she was calling for her son Joseph, but later, Alexander learned more about the incident. Sister Elizabeth Revel, Emma’s nurse, explained that a few days earlier Emma had told her that Joseph came to her in a vision and said, “Emma, come with me, it is time for you to come with me.” “As Emma related it, she said, ‘I put on my bonnet and my shawl and went with him; I did not think that it was anything unusual. I went with him into a mansion, and he showed me through the different apartments of that beautiful mansion.’ And one room was the nursery. In that nursery was a babe in the cradle. She said, ‘I knew my babe, my Don Carlos that was taken from me.’ She sprang forward, caught the child up in her arms, and wept with joy over the child. When Emma recovered herself sufficient she turned to Joseph and said, ‘Joseph, where are the rest of my children.’ He said to her, ‘Emma, be patient and you shall have all of your children.’ Then she saw standing by his side a personage of light, even the Lord Jesus Christ.” ²⁷

Finding this testimony reminded me how precious each soul is in the sight of our Savior, whose compassion and power to save is beyond all comprehension. All of us make mistakes and are in need of repentance. Whenever we withdraw from the fellowship of the Saints and cease to partake of the sacrament on a regular basis, we tend to lose our way and become subject to misunderstanding—especially if our course has been set by real or imagined injury to our feelings, or pride. This could happen to any of us, including my dear great-great-grandmother.

As I reflect upon all I have learned from Emma’s life, I feel great reverence for the testimony she has borne of the divine authenticity of the Book of Mormon and for her precious vision of Joseph and her baby. Her legacy to us in her final witness is that she and all of us, through the ordinances restored by the Prophet Joseph Smith, have the opportunity to be with our families in eternity.

I can't express how this article made me feel.  It was just so amazing and inspiring.  One of the things that struck me about it was the part about her decision to not go west with the saints.  I think with the vague information many members of the church have about her we all kind of assume that she just made a snap decision and flatly refused to go on principle.  But this great great granddaughter of hers shed so much light on this subject for me.  Emma finally had a home after years of moving from place to place.  Her husband had just died.  Her children were fatherless.  She didn't know who to trust after so many of their friends had already betrayed her and Joseph.  And I think she was just plain tired.  If anyone in the world deserved to be tired it was her and Joseph.  If someone tried to look Joseph in the face and say something bad about Emma, try to imagine what his reaction would be.  That puts it into perspective.  Can you imagine how he feels when someone praises him and then belittles her?

Emma's soul was and is precious to the Lord, no matter how we think her life should've turned out.  I love her story and I've learned so much from it about how to be a true Latter Day Saint.  I want to be more committed, I want to be good.  I want to be like Emma, I want to have her gift to love, and I want to remember her when I feel like I'm having a hard time.   Her faith amazes me and I wish I could say for certain that I would have been as faithful as she was if I had to endure the trials she faced.  Hopefully I will be able to say that someday.  It's amazing to me that my trials are nothing to hers, and hers were nothing to the Savior's.  That he suffered all the heartache she did in that garden of Gethsemane and everyone else's at the same time.  Emma's unwavering faith in Him strengthens mine.  She has become so special to me and her story has strengthened my testimony of the gospel.  Gosh, there is just so much that we should all know about people.

This has been an indescribable experience for me.  It's okay if it doesn't hit you as hard as it hit me.  I just wanted to share what I've learned.  I like the thought of angels standing in reverence as Emma prayed as this song says.  All the tears she cried will be made up.

Emma's Song
by Mindy Gledhill

Never had an ordinary day
Never lived your life in an ordinary way
For everything you loved you paid a price
But you couldn’t let the world see you cry
Never had a moment of peace
Never felt the sunlight
When the worries set you free
Every time your life turned a page
It seemed like your heart might break
With the world on your shoulders
When the nights had grown colder
You seemed to weather every storm
With a queen’s grace
When you lost your husband
When you buried your children
I’m sure the angels stood in reverence as you prayed
How much can on heart take
Never had a day to call your own
When so many needed your warm heart as a home
Whispering a mother’s lullaby
As you sat alone by the fire
With the world on your shoulders
When the nights had grown colder
You seemed to weather every storm
With a queen’s grace
When you lost your husband
When you buried your children
I’m sure the angels stood in reverence as you prayed
How much can on heart take
And i’m sure your heart breaks, when some people still say
Somewhere down the line you lost your faith
How much can one heart take
How much can one heart take

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