Ocean Friend

Me and the kids decided to have an adventure and jetted off to California for two weeks while Andrew went out of town for work.  We came to see grandpa, grandmas, cousins, aunts, and uncles.  But we also came to see another very important member of our family- 

the ocean.

It's hard to try and put into words how I feel about the ocean.

Whenever I go home, especially these last few years, I am in awe, absolute awe, that I grew up there.
The ocean has been a friend to my family for many many years.  My grandparents, parents, and siblings.  I know it means as much to them it does to me.

My parents did a wonderful thing for me one of the evenings I was there.  I got to take a walk all by myself down to the cliffs by our house.  Alone.  Completely.  By myself.  Did you read that part?  

It was magical.  It was peaceful.  It was nostalgic.  It was slow.  It was calming.  It was rejuvenating.  Sometimes it is so productive to be alone.  

When I was younger my family would go for walks at Sharp Park Beach often.  I was a lot like Audrey in dramatics and I would try to lag behind the others or run ahead so that I could have my moment with the ocean.  I would talk to it.  I would pretend to speak a different language so it would really be my own secret best friend who only understood me!  That's the kind of kid I was.  If people weren't around I probably would've broken into an interpretive dance every time too.  (I see SO MUCH of myself in Audrey!)

On this walk I did some of that again.  Took the ocean again as my confidant.  I felt like myself, I loved myself, I felt home forever, I loved just being with the ocean.  

I loved the movie Moana.  Because she is a Polynesian girl who has a deep connection with the ocean, which are two things that have always been part of me as well.  I loved her relationship with her grandma, her relationship with her culture which I want more of in mine and my kids lives, and her relationship with the ocean.  

Every time we walked away from the ocean and the beach Audrey would say goodbye.  

"Bye Ocean!  We'll see you tomorrow!" she would say with a wave.  And then Hannah would say and do the same thing.  My girls have known the ocean their whole lives, starting right around three or four months old.  It was Eli's turn this time too.

Because of the ocean, nature is such an important, necessary, vital part of life for me.  I can't be near the ocean right now but I can love and appreciate the mountains and woods here in Utah.  We love playing any little creek we can find on our family hikes.  And I love those peaceful moments of just standing in the middle of it and hearing the quiet quiet all around.  

Nature.  It's just healing.  

I enjoy going downtown in San Francisco, especially when my family all goes together.  I love that city, I always always will.  But if I was home for just one day I wouldn't be spending it shopping, looking at big buildings, or eating at restaurants.  I would be at the beach with goldfish and grapes, running in the cold surf, and stopping to stare out at that blue, those waves, and that horizon.  Till the sun goes down.

Here are some of our visits to several different beaches in the last two weeks:

Rockaway Beach

the girls staring at a dead pelican.  standing very close together.  you know, just in case. 

Sharp Park Beach

mariah pointing out our house to hannah

they'll never get over their auntie mariah

Cliffs by the house 

(on my lone walk and with my kids on another day)

my mom said she used to ride her bike across these cliffs when she was young.  they've receded so much that most of where she would ride is completely gone now.  things even look different every time we visit!

view from the house

Linda Mar Beach

BURRITOS ON THE BEACH 2017

#newtradition

this oh-so-flattering shot of me and my beloved burrito on the beach

How can anyone truly think there is not a God with all of this before them?

I love that no matter what happens in life, the ocean will always be there.  It's true!  This has been a comforting thought for me whenever I'm nervous about the future.  Wherever we end up, we can always come back to the sea.

Goodbye Ocean, my old best friend.  

We will be back soon.