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A bit of a vent and then a lesson I've learned.
Last night on facebook I posted this video along with my own inserted caption:
A few minutes after I posted it, I woke Andrew up from a quick power nap and we bundled up to go out into the cold to finish up our RA duty evening- this consists of closing down the clubhouse at midnight and then doing "curfew checks" as we walk around the complex one last time for the night. For those of you who don't know, "curfew" checking here at BYU simply means that it's time for members of the opposite sex to not be in each other's apartments. It's fine if you don't agree with that rule, but the kids that live here agreed to it and they agreed to being checked up on.
We were both feeling pretty tired and a little sick so we decided to do it all very quickly and not be sticklers about curfew checking- we decided that we'd only go check the apartments where it was blatantly obvious. Maybe that isn't very good of us as RA's and honor-code upholders...but either way that's what we did, even if it meant giving some kids a free ride for one night. Of course, however, as we were heading back to our apartment ready to be done, we saw a girl's apartment where it was blatantly obvious. So we reluctantly headed over to it, half wishing that the boys they had over had just been quiet long enough for us to get in our apartment. We knocked and of course it immediately did get quiet.
In the past this same apartment had tried to hide guys behind their couches when we'd come, but they had too many guys over this time to even try that. We knocked again, and a guy opened the door. There were about 8 guys there. We smiled and Andrew started to say "Hey guys, it's time-" when the guy at the door said, "Are you guys RA's?" I said, "Yeah and it's past-" BAM. Door slammed in our face and we heard roars of laughter on the other side of the door.
When it happened my thoughts immediately turned to this video. I'm sure this guy didn't think of it as being rude- he thought he was being funny to his friends. He thought he was just challenging authority a little bit. What he didn't think about is that Andrew and I are up at midnight out in the cold with an early morning ahead of us. He didn't think about that we have school and work and classes and church and that we are just doing our job. He didn't think about the fact that we were not being at all rude to them even though they were the ones breaking the rules and keeping us up late. He didn't think about the fact that we were not singling them out just for our enjoyment. He didn't think about the fact that RA's are people too! Sounds funny, but seriously. If only his mother could've seen.
Now it all ended fine. We were about to break out our master key when the guy opened it again and said "hahahaha just kidding" or some crap like that. I told him off a little bit, said he better not do that again and then we made them leave the door open until they all filed out.
What I've learned from this is that being rude is just plain RUDE. It was not the worst thing that has happened to us on this job, but it definitely did not feel good. I wonder also if it would've been different if I had been standing at the door alone. I wonder if this guy would've thought twice before slamming the door on me alone or if he would've thought it was even funnier. Or if Andrew had been standing there alone. I think people are often ruder to guys than girls when it comes to things like this because they all think they have something to prove. Whatever reasons we have for our rudeness- trying to be funny, challenging authority...even when we are dissatisfied with a product or something and have every right to be upset...we should remember that the person we're yelling at or slamming the door on is probably someone who is just doing their job. And sometimes it just might be a really tired, really sick, short girl who is only doing this job to make ends meet for her little family during these hard college years.
From this experience I have a newfound appreciation for all the polite customers I waited on at Subway and at the Farmer's Market when I worked there. I also have a newfound resolve to be kinder, to not judge based on appearances, and to not seek personal satisfaction at someone else's expense even if they are a perfect stranger. And even if it is something as small as closing the door on a person. There are polite ways to decline things you really don't want, and I really believe everyone deserves to be treated with some respect. I'm not perfect at this, but I want to be better and I'm going to try to be.
Last night on facebook I posted this video along with my own inserted caption:
I love this video...quick reminder of how to treat our fellow men...no matter the differences we think are between us. We can all have our different opinions, ideas, and lifestyles and still treat each other with kindness. As the homeless man says in the video, "It doesn't cost one cent to be polite."
A few minutes after I posted it, I woke Andrew up from a quick power nap and we bundled up to go out into the cold to finish up our RA duty evening- this consists of closing down the clubhouse at midnight and then doing "curfew checks" as we walk around the complex one last time for the night. For those of you who don't know, "curfew" checking here at BYU simply means that it's time for members of the opposite sex to not be in each other's apartments. It's fine if you don't agree with that rule, but the kids that live here agreed to it and they agreed to being checked up on.
We were both feeling pretty tired and a little sick so we decided to do it all very quickly and not be sticklers about curfew checking- we decided that we'd only go check the apartments where it was blatantly obvious. Maybe that isn't very good of us as RA's and honor-code upholders...but either way that's what we did, even if it meant giving some kids a free ride for one night. Of course, however, as we were heading back to our apartment ready to be done, we saw a girl's apartment where it was blatantly obvious. So we reluctantly headed over to it, half wishing that the boys they had over had just been quiet long enough for us to get in our apartment. We knocked and of course it immediately did get quiet.
In the past this same apartment had tried to hide guys behind their couches when we'd come, but they had too many guys over this time to even try that. We knocked again, and a guy opened the door. There were about 8 guys there. We smiled and Andrew started to say "Hey guys, it's time-" when the guy at the door said, "Are you guys RA's?" I said, "Yeah and it's past-" BAM. Door slammed in our face and we heard roars of laughter on the other side of the door.
When it happened my thoughts immediately turned to this video. I'm sure this guy didn't think of it as being rude- he thought he was being funny to his friends. He thought he was just challenging authority a little bit. What he didn't think about is that Andrew and I are up at midnight out in the cold with an early morning ahead of us. He didn't think about that we have school and work and classes and church and that we are just doing our job. He didn't think about the fact that we were not being at all rude to them even though they were the ones breaking the rules and keeping us up late. He didn't think about the fact that we were not singling them out just for our enjoyment. He didn't think about the fact that RA's are people too! Sounds funny, but seriously. If only his mother could've seen.
Now it all ended fine. We were about to break out our master key when the guy opened it again and said "hahahaha just kidding" or some crap like that. I told him off a little bit, said he better not do that again and then we made them leave the door open until they all filed out.
What I've learned from this is that being rude is just plain RUDE. It was not the worst thing that has happened to us on this job, but it definitely did not feel good. I wonder also if it would've been different if I had been standing at the door alone. I wonder if this guy would've thought twice before slamming the door on me alone or if he would've thought it was even funnier. Or if Andrew had been standing there alone. I think people are often ruder to guys than girls when it comes to things like this because they all think they have something to prove. Whatever reasons we have for our rudeness- trying to be funny, challenging authority...even when we are dissatisfied with a product or something and have every right to be upset...we should remember that the person we're yelling at or slamming the door on is probably someone who is just doing their job. And sometimes it just might be a really tired, really sick, short girl who is only doing this job to make ends meet for her little family during these hard college years.
From this experience I have a newfound appreciation for all the polite customers I waited on at Subway and at the Farmer's Market when I worked there. I also have a newfound resolve to be kinder, to not judge based on appearances, and to not seek personal satisfaction at someone else's expense even if they are a perfect stranger. And even if it is something as small as closing the door on a person. There are polite ways to decline things you really don't want, and I really believe everyone deserves to be treated with some respect. I'm not perfect at this, but I want to be better and I'm going to try to be.
"Life is perfect for none of us. Rather than being judgmental and critical of each other, may we have the pure love of Christ for our fellow travelers in this journey through life."
Thomas S. Monson
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